BASSIST: “Dude, guys… that Lil Wayne guy is really blowing up with that Lollipop song…”

DRUMMER: “Yeah, man. It’s a pretty catchy track. I’ll probably get the album.”

SINGER: “Wait, what?! Hold on, let me get this straight… Lil’ Wayne wrote a song about hooking up with hot girls… that people think is catchy… and he’s gotten famous for it? What the fuck?! That guy doesn’t even a tattoo of a dead dove fucking a bloody skull in a heart with a thorn in it! He could never pull girls!”

GUITARIST: “Well, dude, you’ve gotta understand… Lil’ Wayne is a rap star. His style & songwriting are much different than ours. Therefore, he doesn’t need those things to make a good song or be successful.”

BASSIST: “Yeah, it’s really a completely different genre-“

SINGER: “-No, fuck that! This is bullshit! That guy’s a total fraud! Only we hook up with hot girls in the manner that he discusses in Lollipop!”

DRUMMER: “Actually, we don’t. We’re a bunch of white guys from Nashville, Tennessee who had to dye our hair black and get tons of tattoos/piercings to get girls… Lil’ Wayne is a New Orleans street-kid who started rapping at 13 and has been living the high-life ever since.”

GUITARIST: “Yeah, dude. The lyrical content of Lil’ Wayne’s hit single is completely inappropriate for our lifestyle. Our sex life is nothing like what he describes in Lollipop.”

SINGER: “Are you kidding me?! It’s totally like that!”

BASSIST: “No way, man. The chorus says ‘Shawty Wanna Thug’ …How is that relate to us, at all? We aren’t thugs. We’re scrawny white kids.”

SINGER: “Yeah, right! We’re totally thugs! Dude, remember when I totally fought that guy in the mosh pit at Warped Tour ‘06? That was fuckin’ gangsta!”

DRUMMER: “Good Charlotte was playing… and it was a 12 year old kid. He accidentally ran into, made you trip in front of Stacy, and you freaked the fuck out on him.”

BASSIST: “If I remember correctly, that fight was kind of a draw, dude…”

SINGER: “Shut up. That was one time. There’s a bunch of other shit that makes us thugs.”

GUITARIST: “Okay, what about… ‘Bottles In Da Club…’ We’ve never bought bottles… nor been to a club.”

SINGER: “Uhhhh… we totally played the Whiskey-A-Go-Go last week, and if you guys had a fuckin’ memory, you’d remember I drank like 4 Coors Light… BOTTLES.”

DRUMMER: “Okay, what about ‘She Wanna Lick The Rapper’? We’re not rappers, man. We’re a post-hardcore band.”

SINGER: “Look, I don’t give a shit! The point is… WE CAN MAKE THIS SONG WAY BETTER! Then we can totally make a music video where we bone alot of hot girls that would never listen to our music, which will lead to us REALLY boning those kind of girls… then we’ll get way famous & rich off our better version of Lil’ Wayne’s shitty, original version! Now, are you guys down to record a cover version this shit or what?”

ALL: (long pause) “Yeah, I guess / Don’t really have anything better to do / I hope someone posted the Guitar Tabs online.”

DRUMMER: “Wait, wait, wait… I will only do the Lil’ Wayne cover under one condition… We make a ridiculously long party intro, full of unrealistic dialog delivered via terrible acting in several scenerios that make us look like we actually live interesting lives…”

ALL: “DEAL!!!!”