“… it becomes clear early on, after she wears a beret one day, of purple velour, that we’re not meant to be …”

This is one of the many profound quotes from Dave Eggers’ “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” that has made it my personal Gospel. He describes a brief relationship with a sophisticated older (30) woman which was going great until she decided to rock a beret.

When I first read this, I couldn’t get over how great Eggers captures this tragic feeling. I don’t know how many times I’ve been totally into a girl only to have it ruined by the smallest thing. Its even happened with a purple beret, when I thought a girl in my class was totally cute and cool until… Uh, oh. Nevermind. Purple beret… That’s just too much for me to handle.

Its really sad that the tiniest details can do that - though, usually not that tiny and quite often being obnoxiously outrageous hats that they believe will make them cute or quirky or some shit. Who knows why they do it?

I always quote Chris Rock’s “No Sex in the Champagne Room” when I see it: “Take off that silly ass hat…”

Who knows why such things as berets, bad hairdo’s, and other gimmicky fashion choices can make one lose all attraction to a girl? Maybe ridiculous headgear was a sign of infertility during Caveman days, so its in our DNA to avoid beret-wearers as mates?

The point is: Ladies… You’re beautiful as you are. You don’t need some wacky accessory to catch our eye. And as sophisticated as berets may seem, if you really want a guy to see your intelligence, prove it without bad fashion. Seriously, it might just be me, but I’d much rather go for a cute girl in jeans and a tshirt than one wearing a fucking Elizabethian costume. You don’t need that shit to make men interested.

EDIT: I am not trying to portray women as having all their choices and actions being motivated only by a desperate search for male attention. However, whether you can admit it or not, EVERY SINGLE THING WE DO IS IN HOPES OF GETTING ATTENTION FROM OTHERS, particularly from the opposite sex (and this includes this post itself).